I’m now ready, a year later, to tell my story.
Firstly, I’m in no way writing this for attention, I am writing this to raise awareness and also to show that things DO get better and you CAN get through whatever you are going through.
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Trigger warning for • sexual assault • homelessness • pregnancy •
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This is back in November 2018-March 2019. I had just found out that I was pregnant to someone that I didn’t want to be pregnant to. I was broken. I was lost. I was well and truely ready to give up.
I was living outside of a service station in Sydney. Completely alone. Scared to tell anyone; friends and family; what had happened.
I had moved to Sydney in September of 2018, living with other students in a house in Strathfield. Close to the train station, commuting to Hyde Park every day for university. Life was GOOD. I even had 2 jobs, working 5 days a week, ‘casually’, at 3 different childcare centres!
I just knew no one.
Until I resorted to a Sydney Facebook group to meet friends. I met this one girl on there. She invited me over one day, so I got my stuff together for a night away and got on the train to go and visit her (looking back, horrible idea!!).
Got to her place in Western Sydney & she introduced me to her brother. Big guy, scary looking, tattoos, 35 years old. I WAS BLOODY FRESHLY 21!
Anyway, I wasn’t interested.
Later on, I ended up getting manipulated into moving in with these people. This was September/October.
Come some night in late November, this guy and myself were in his bed watching movies. Next minute, things get weird. He gets the TV remote and turns up the TV… for some reason, I thought nothing of this.
Couple minutes later, he starts undressing me, all while I’m screaming at him to “stop”. This feels like an eternity. I keep telling him to “stop” but he just continues.
Mind you, this guy is a big built guy!
He proceeds further (I’m sure you know what I mean) and I reach for the remote to turn down the TV so that I can call out to his sister or her husband to “help” but I can’t quite reach the remote.
He finishes, I’m screaming.
I knew that I was due to ovulate around the 1st December so I was literally freaking.
I knew it. I was pregnant.
Come middle of December, I haven’t had my period so I decide to take a test.
Sure enough, two lines. Despite being faint.
I take another one, the same. And then a digital: pregnant (these all are posted in my Instagram in early on posts).
Come after Christmas, I’m kicked out of the house, pregnant, expected to fend for myself. I have no house (having being forced to leave my student accommodation to come live with him & his family). I have nothing. Except 1 suitcase.
Fast forward a year & I have the most gorgeous baby girl that is my little miracle.
Lola Ivy-Grace was born 24 July 2019, due 24 August prematurely (5 weeks early) via Caesar. Lola had many issues both on the inside and on her entry to life, but she’s my trophy. My proof that I got through the worst of the worst.
Here are the photos from that time.
Here I am, a heavy smoker. A heavy energy drink drinker. Without a home, just left with a suitcase at early pregnancy up until 12/15 weeks pregnant, to fend for myself.
I’m not sharing this because I want attention, I’m sharing this because of how far I have come.
A year later, I have a 5 month old, I’m healthy, I’m happy, I’m a successful business owner, living my dreams and running for my goals at 22 years of age ALL ON MY OWN 👏🏼
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